Today, for the entire day I tried to shake off the feeling of total despair. The more I wanted to shake it off the more it held me tighter. But then I reminded myself that we are stronger than we think. At the face of adversity we often show our truest self. Then I thought of my friend N. She was your classic girl next door. All she wanted from life was someone who would love her for who she was. She was a hopeless romantic.
On a Wednesday morning, less than a week after her honeymoon, her husband was brutally murdered. I am not going to discuss the details of that cowardly attack. Today’s post is about how I saw her burn alive to the ashes and then rise up stronger and braver.
Overnight her life became a national drama. Major newspaper publications wrote about her. She had to go for press briefings and sit down with political leaders and family members. She was interrogated over and over again, and she faced and answered all the horribly unkind questions over and over again. Sometimes with silence; other times with a few words. No one and nothing was kind to her. But she always showed up, always faced everything that was thrown at her. And I was there the whole time, like a shadow. I wanted to shield her from everything, from all the pain. But how could I? The pain was for her to endure alone. The struggles were for her to face alone.
N did what was the hardest: she lived. She moved on with her life on her own terms. Not all heroes wave flags, start a revolution, or are vocal. N made the strongest statement by just being the woman she always aspired to become. And that’s why, when it’s a dark day, and I feel overcome by fear, frustration and negativity, I think of her. And when I think of her, my fear is often replaced by hope.
Day 09: 15 March, 2019